Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
