she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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