Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
