Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize