too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
