Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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