You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
