More tranny stories later!
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
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