I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
