i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Sober January is a disaster.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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