If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize