She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
