You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
