Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize