the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize