I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
