Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
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But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
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She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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