their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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