he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Randomize
