if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
