For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
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we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
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It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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