yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
