I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
