I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
