I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
