do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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