Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
