The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
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They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
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You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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