I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
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