you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
