yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
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I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
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don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
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