i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
false alarm. still invincible.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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