Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
