Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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