They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
