I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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