yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
