Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
