I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
