Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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