You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You ruined the universe
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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