The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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