you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Someone signed my nipple.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
