Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
