we're blogging at a bar
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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