plz talk dirty to me
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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