Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
