Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
there is puke in my bra ... again
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
