So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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