We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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