dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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