The best revenge is premature balding
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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