I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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