didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
