so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
She bit a glass in half.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
