I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
