Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
