I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
