We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
