So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
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