There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
