I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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