when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
