Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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