does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
