i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
