his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
